I won't wait on you forever!

This past week was very difficult for me; it was hectic at work several unrealistic deadlines to meet and on top of it on the eave of both my mother's and my mother-in-law's birthday my boyfriend of 18 years decides to tell me he can't keep waiting on me. At that precise moment when I heard those words I was very upset as I could not fathom how he could make such a statement. I uttered some unpleasant things including him being selfish and unreasonable. When the truth is I was the one being unreasonable, you see, from the inception of the relationship I was busy building my career and taking care of family with a view that he would always be there.

Everyone around us relationship has blossomed, my little sister got married, his little sister and brother moved in with their spouses. He lives with his two children and I still live with my parents. Can you believe, that I only spend weekends and probably a few days in the week with him.  I do two jobs and I spend my weekends preparing for class and doing research. Looking at it, I have a relationship with me and my career but not with him. This man has allowed me to build my career, he has really been patient. I may loose him if I don't revise my objectives and priorities.

I had noticed changes in the relationship, we talk to each other less, we spend less time hanging out but we argue more and everything is all of a sudden a constant burden. Maybe this week, is my wake up call.

I called my sister and she said that I needed to think about what I wanted. Wow, I want him and my career.

He wants me to commit to the relationship, I seem to be able to commit to everything and everyone but him. He doesn't deserve that. He has been through a lot even more so in the last six years, losing his father, then his sister and then his mother. And, waiting to see if I love him enough to commit. I do love him and the thought of losing him really scares me.

He has expressed himself, he has played his card and it is now my time to move. I have a lot to think about.